That Time I Buzzed Across a Bench
My Mr. Grey picked me up from work with a devilish grin on his face. I’m going to ruin any hopeful kinkiness you might have, though. What started out as a kinky little daydream soon turned into… well, that time I buzzed across a bench.
Allow me to explain.
That Time I Buzzed Across a Bench
“I’ve got you a little gift,” Grey said as I climbed into the Bat-mobile (as I called it,) handing me a black giftbag.
“Ooooh, thank you!” I took the bag and peered inside, knowing it would more than likely be a filthy gift, because it always was with him – probably something I’d mentioned once, that stuck in his mind.
Previous treats had included lingerie, sex toys, carefully prepared ropes, a whip…
You get the idea.
I couldn’t quite figure out what the gift was, so I rummaged around in the tissue paper and retrieved a box.
“A remote-controlled vibrating love egg?” I questioned out loud.
“Yes,” Grey nodded. “You’re going to wear it when we go for dinner, and I’m going to control the remote.”
I grinned. “Yeah, I fuckin’ am.”
“Let’s get you home, then!” He started the engine.
Oh, how I loved that beautiful rumble.
Exactly eighty-five minutes later, I heard that rumble back outside my house. I gave myself one last glance-over in the mirror, smoothing the dress I knew he’d love, and added a few more spritzes of his favourite perfume.
I opened the front door and held the (newly washed) love egg up. “One more minute. I almost forgot something!”
I hadn’t forgotten at all, but hey, I was in the mood to put on a performance. Running to the bathroom with the egg and a very unnecessary bottle of lubricant, I popped it in and gave myself a vigorous shake.
A summer dress with no pants + very excited me + love egg = a potentially disastrous situation in the car, restaurant, or anywhere between my house and dinner.
“Let’s put those Kegel muscles to work, girl,” I said to myself, shaking one more time before making my way to the car.
“You look gorgeous,” he said, just like he always says.
“You don’t look so bad yourself,” I said back, just like I always say.
We went to one of our regular spots, a casual little noodle place. It’s not the nicest place in the world, but it’s… ours. Sentimental, you might say. Empty table spotted, we sat, then ordered, then waited for our drinks to arrive.
“So, what’s been going on?” Grey said, reaching into his pocket.
“Oh, you know, same…” My voice trailed off as the toy inside me rumbled to life. Loudly. At first, I thought it was so loud because it was inside me, but Grey’s giggling face gave the game away. “Can you fucking hear that?!” I gasped.
He carried on giggling and hit the button. Once again, the toy rumbled loudly inside me. The combination of no pants, vibrating love egg, and wooden bench was, apparently, a not so subtle one.
I stood up and looked around. “Stop it.”
“Oh, I can’t,” he chuckled, hitting the button again.
Thankfully, away from the hard, wooden bench, the rumble wasn’t quite so loud, but it still jerked and juddered my body from the inside… with some power for such a small toy.
“Sit down,” Grey quietly ordered. He turned the toy off. “Now.”
I thought about it. Toyed with it. Mentally whipped through every possible outcome. “It’s too loud, Grey. I can’t.”
He thought about it. Toyed with it. Turned the toy on, then turned it off again. Eventually he nodded. “Probably for the best.”
I made my excuses and ran to the bathroom to yank it out. I didn’t trust that he wouldn’t hit that damn button repeatedly, sending me buzzing across the bench like an electric toothbrush again. By the time I went back to the table, drinks and food had arrived, so we ate and laughed about the experience.
We went back to this hotel room at the end of the night… just like always.
And again, just like always, Grey fucked me on every single available surface, in every single available way, and then some.
I don’t know what happened to that remote controlled love egg. Maybe he took it with him. Maybe I threw it out.
One thing’s for sure: I ain’t ever doing dinner with a love egg again.
That time I buzzed across a bench, loudly, in a restaurant full of people, has scarred me for life.
Thanks so much for reading my blog today! 🖤
If you’re in the market for more sex fails, you’ll find a whole bunch of them right here.
Fancy something more successful and spicier? How about one of my personal favourites:
